Follow the ZONE DATING Road Map and Date More After 40!

Excerpted from “The State of the Date” Teleseminar presented by Jerusha Stewart and hosted by Pre-Dating.com, the World’s Largest Speed Dating Company TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 27  8:30 – 9:30pm EST

CLICK HERE to listen to the Teleseminar.

DOWNLOAD your FREE mini ebook:  ”The Best Little Book on How to Feel Sexy Past 40.”

Now, let’s move on to idea #2 – Because I have to introduce you to the practice  of “ZONE DATING” – right now it’s one of the most important ideas you need to know to shine and bring your best self to your dating experience!

We’re all familiar with the idea of “being in the zone”, in sports and business it usually refers to being in a place of total immersion where everything runs smoothly.  Now you may have heard of the term “ZONE DATING” – it refers to being totally present, staying in the moment which can be especially difficult for women. Yet it’s exactly where we need to be in order to effectively communicate with and have more fun dating the opposite sex.

Sadly, most of you are usually totally unaware or confused about where you actually are in the dating process.  Recognizing the importance of “ZONE DATING” will help you establish healthier and happier patterns in your dating life.  So, let me introduce you to the “ZONE DATING” Roadmap:

First Stop:  “THE STRANGER ZONE” – whether you met someone online dating, mutual friends introduced you, or she caught your eye at your local coffee shop, your first date always takes place in “THE STRANGER ZONE.”   That’s why the purpose of the first date is to determine whether the “He/She Stranger” is single, sane, and available and doing so in a safe environment.   I know you all think you’re big girls and boys who can take care of yourselves, but given some of “THE STRANGER ZONE” dating stories I’ve heard, I wonder.

First, don’t assume anything when you’re dating in “THE STRANGER ZONE.”  Are they single? – Yes, you do have to ask.  It doesn’t hurt to get in-person validation of a person’s dating status.   Moreover, you can’t assume that you and the other person have the even same definition of single. There are men – and even women who believe that until they have a ring on their finger they’re still fair game.  This may not be your idea of fair play. . .

Moving on, things go well and you find yourselves in “THE FRIEND ZONE” – Congratulations!  This is exactly where you want to be next, contrary to popular belief; “THE FRIEND ZONE” is where you really can experience the true joy, excitement, engagement and pleasures of dating.

You spend time with your friends because you mutually enjoy each other’s company, share common interests, and feel a natural bond of companionship.  You enjoy their company in the moment and aren’t always engaged in “future think” about the relationship. Sounds like the antithesis of dating doesn’t it?  Yet treating a potential love interest as you would a potential friend could lead to a fun, drama-free dating experience. . .

Next, you enter “THE LOVE OR LUST ZONE” – this is where everyone on this call probably hopes to find him or herself. It’s a critical stage in dating because opting for one choice, usually pre-empts having the other. By that, I mean if you spring for the one night stand, chances are you won’t find yourself in a long-term relationship.  Not always, true. However, the chances for misunderstandings and confusion are so high that the process of getting back on track usually takes all the fun out of dating. If you’ve been there done that then you probably know what I’m talking about.

Next time you’re tempted to slide between the sheets in “THE LOVE OR LUST ZONE” ask yourself:  Am I really comfortable having sex with this person RIGHT NOW?  Or are you feeling manipulated into having sex by someone who’s saying, “It’s no big deal.  We’re grownups...I didn’t mean to push. . .oh, we can stop if you really want to.”  If someone is making you feel uncomfortable with your values, undermining your confidence - they are obviously not the BEST choice for you. . .

Quickly let’s move on to “THE END ZONE.”  This is make or break up time.  It’s the time to reflect on how you feel about a potential partner.   First, step away from the situation.  Usually it’s not a good idea to make a decision in the moment.  And reflecting doesn’t mean you should come home after the date and check your online dating stats to see your latest winks from Match.com.  This is not a compare and contrast exercise.  You need to determine how you feel about this particular individual in a vacuum. It’s all about you  ...and that particular person.  FOCUS!

But once you’ve make the decision that this person is not the BEST fit for you, don’t linger in “THE END ZONE.”  You’ve decided he/she isn’t for you – it’s catch and release time. Move on.  Don’t waste your time & energy trying to convince yourself to like them more.  Trust your gut, your feminine instincts, and your pros and cons list (I know some of you make those and it’s a good idea too).

To paraphrase a well-worn quote: “Good (enough) is the enemy of great (relationships).”  You deserve the best. . .