"You get up every day to figure out how to challenge yourself. You interact with people on a daily basis in an effort to learn more about yourself and the world around you so you can make more meaningful connections. These are actually difficult things to do on a regular basis. But you'll feel enormous freedom when you shed the chains of the pursuit of happiness and opt instead for the simplicity of engagement, of interestingness."
If you could see a movie of your life before you lived it, would you want to live it? Probably not. The thrill of living is that you don’t know what’s coming. In other words, uncertainty is what makes our lives fun.Sure, it’s hard to see uncertainty in such a positive light when you are out of work, or when you feel like you’re flailing. But uncertainty is really another word for opportunity, and you can’t harness an opportunity until you recognize it’s there.
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"You get up every day to figure out how to challenge yourself. You interact with people on a daily basis in an effort to learn more about yourself and the world around you so you can make more meaningful connections. These are actually difficult things to do on a regular basis. But you'll feel enormous freedom when you shed the chains of the pursuit of happiness and opt instead for the simplicity of engagement, of interestingness."
If you could see a movie of your life before you lived it, would you want to live it? Probably not. The thrill of living is that you don’t know what’s coming. In other words, uncertainty is what makes our lives fun.Sure, it’s hard to see uncertainty in such a positive light when you are out of work, or when you feel like you’re flailing. But uncertainty is really another word for opportunity, and you can’t harness an opportunity until you recognize it’s there.My first experience with severe uncertainty was my senior year of college. Not knowing what I was going to do with my life was too much for me to bear. I stopped going to classes and failed Intro to Sociology, which turned out to be a graduation requirement.So I stayed in school for the summer, and during that time I learned to cope with ambiguity. I realized that the only way to lead an interesting life is to encounter uncertainty and make a choice. Otherwise, your life is not your own – it is a path someone else has chosen. Moments of uncertainty are when you create your life, when you become who you are.When I finally did graduate from college, I went on to play professional beach volleyball. At the time I worried that the decision was crazy, and that I wouldn’t make the cut. But in the face of massive instability, beach volleyball seemed like a reasonable choice. Now that is one of the parts of my life I am most proud of.Uncertainty does not end with the job hunt. Every new role we take means another round of instability. Even fifteen years after college, when I start a new job I am nervous. But now I remind myself that I am lucky to be nervous – because big opportunity and nervousness go hand in hand.Today I live on a farm. It’s not what I envisioned for myself when I was starting adult life. I assumed I’d have a corporate job in a big city. I assumed that somehow, I would get to the top of some field. Because I see myself as a top performer. But I’m on a farm as a result of the process of defining what a top performer is to me. It’s not money, but interestingness. I want an interesting life where I surprise myself with what I can accomplish to such an extent that I can’t even see around corners to what’s coming next. I stepped down from Brazen Careerist, the company I founded, in order to try something new. I’m not sure what that is. But it will involve living on a farm. I took my kids out of school because I can see that learning is changing very quickly and you can’t keep up in the school system. I’m not sure what my family’s learning will look like, but it will be something we do together. My career path is unclear. But that’s the best way to have it. If you know where you’re going, every step of the way, then things aren’t interesting. Of course, if things are too interesting, you can’t support a family. The trick is to strike a balance of predictable enough income and interesting enough life. * * * * *
It used to be we had a midlife crisis. Then we had a quarterlife crisis. Now we have a constant crisis. Adults feel overwhelmed by the idea of of trying to construct a life that works. And the core of this problem is that the goal of happiness is feeling vacuous. It's just hard to say that. It's hard to say you are not trying to get what you were raised to get. It's hard to say you are not playing the game you were taught in school – for twenty years – to play. One of the most difficult aspects of adult life is that we don't know what's coming. There is no sure safe path to reach our dream. But if there were, you can bet it would not be meaningful. If getting to the new American Dream were easy and surefooted, everyone would do it. And then it wouldn't be a dream, it would be a given. For those of you who have no idea what to do next in your life, remember that uncertainty is what allows you to surprise yourself. If you could see each future step along the way, you’d never get the chance to be amazed at what you can do.Some of you work for unstable companies. You do not need to create uncertainty; it is there every day that the company veers closer to layoffs. In this case, ambiguity is something to endure. But if you can focus in the face of instability, you are more likely to be able to leverage opportunity. If you’re stuck in your career, the only way to get unstuck is to create instability. Say to yourself, “Maybe I can change my approach, maybe I can find a new specialty.”You get up every day to figure out how to challenge yourself. You interact with people on a daily basis in an effort to learn more about yourself and the world around you so you can make more meaningful connections. These are actually difficult things to do on a regular basis. But you'll feel enormous freedom when you shed the chains of the pursuit of happiness and opt instead for the simplicity of engagement, of interestingness. As more of us embrace this shift, we'll have a convergence of adult life and childhood where school is all about engagement and challenging oneself instead of teaching to tests, and work is about engagement and challenging oneself instead of chasing titles and money. The self-learning path will start young, with homeschooling, and continue seamlessly, throughout life, because career management will be about creating a self-learning adventure. That is the New American Dream. And the great thing about the dream is that it's the struggle – the process – that gives your life meaning. Because that's the part that is interesting.
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